The Compleat Wardrobe of Angelique Collins (et al): 2012

And here we are, at last:  the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp ... um ... travesty?  Does one want to say travesty?  I don't; there are parts I enjoy, and one of them, actually, is Eva Green's performance as Angelique Bouchard.  There's an interesting kernel at the character's center, though, ultimately, they throw her away as another Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction rip-off; Green gives her flashes of pathos through the psychosis, more than Lysette Anthony ever did.  And Oscar award winning costume designer Colleen Atwood has a lot of fun with Angelique's witch couture, as she claws her way up from servitude to running a fish empire.  Set your goals higher, black magic woman.

But yes ... with the exception of the movie's first twenty minutes or so, it's a giant mess.
 

The first time in any Dark Shadows iteration where we see Angelique as a child (though, in the original series, Natalie DuPres did describe her as "uninteresting"; reading Tarot cards vs. character was probably more the Countess' speed). The little dress she wears here ...

...eventually becomes this dress.  Good for scrubbing floors and for disposing of the in-laws.  (If you can cause houses to crumble so easily, why are you scrubbing floors at all?!?)

I love these Angelique-as-servant dresses; they remind me, for some reason, of Disney princesses.  Specifically, Sleeping Beauty.

Um ... yeah.  Like that.

This looks to me to be the same blue dress she wears while scrubbing the floors, but just to be safe ... here it is again, as Angelique makes sure Barnabas is buried alive.

The "Where off route 9?!?" power suit (1 of a few power suits) business-woman Angelique wears after taking over the town of Collinsport (and the people love her; so who, besides Elizabeth Stoddard, is complaining?).  It's also what she wore in that first teaser photo Entertainment Weekly released in 2011:

Thank Hecate she's blonde again; the fan boys were worried.

After realizing that Barnabas has been released from his grave, she changes into a new power suit and wig, and zooms over to Collinwood to taunt/flirt with him.

She quickly loses the coat to reveal an amazing pair of hooker boots and sprawls all over the furniture.

This version of Angelique prefers lots of dark colors, eschewing the day-glo shades preferred by OG Angelique in her 20th century incarnations.

Not wild about this scene (nothing like a good boob joke, huh, Tim Burton?), but the blue dress is okay.

Angelique's lingerie!  Something we never knew we needed.  Did I mention I hate this scene with the fire of a thousand suns?

Angelique decides to win Barnabas back in a gorgeous shimmery red gown.  Unfortunately there's another Josette clone hanging around; they don't make cliffs the way they used to.

Fed up with Barnabas' chicanery, Angelique dons the witchiest of all her wardrobe, and locks him in another box ... for about twenty minutes.

So she's a psychopath; she's the bad guy, right?  I still think she looks freaking fantastic in the last few moments of this, a movie that could have done something cool and gothic and weird and instead was just ... cheap.  And a mess.  A cheap mess.

But at least Angelique looked good.

UP NEXT:  Artistic interpretations!