Friday, January 3, 2014

Welcome, 2014!

To celebrate Shadows on the Wall's third voyage into a new year -- and my holiday acquisition of the complete original series in its awesome coffin home -- here are a few of my favorite moments from Dark Shadows.

#430In 1795, Barnabas raises Josette from the dead, but sends her right back to the boneyard when he sees how unpretty she has become in death. 


Barnabas shows his less-than-chivalrous side in this episode, demonstrating that, for our favorite vampire, even true love has its limits.  Also showcased is the production staff's uber-theatrical and very particular brand of special effects:   in this instance, painting a ping-pong ball to great effect, which then erupts from a cone of flesh that I'm assuming became super messy as a result of Josette landing face first at the base of Widow's Hill.  One of the most memorable moments in the series, and one I encountered for the first time when I gleefully purchased MPI's compilation Scariest Moments from Dark Shadows at a North Dakota Kmart in 1991.

#570:   In 1968, Julia becomes vampire Tom Jenning's love slave.


A fascinating plot twist, giving Grayson Hall a chance to show off her acting chops ("Get out, get out, get out!" she screams at one point to a frazzled Elizabeth Stoddard in a manner remarkably similar to an especially irritating moment from Buffy the Vampire Slayer).  Of particular interest to Barnabas/Julia shippers, this one forces Barnabas to acknowledge that Julia is more than just his doctor and confidante (in an especially amusing moment, goaded by Willie, Barnabas is forced to admit that Julia is more than just his "secretary").  For those of us with big jonses for Don Briscoe ... well, it's fun to watch him roll (and cross) his eyes as he dashes hither and yon as a sexed up vampire.

#248:  Barnabas, unable to convince Maggie Evans that she is his Josette, decides upon more drastic tactics in the hopes that eventually she'll come around.


How the heck did this guy become the fantasy boy toy for every housewife in 1967?  In the same way, I suppose, that Edward Cullen is decidedly non-feminist wish fulfillment for the tweens of twenty-first century America (plus ick).  Barnabas manhandles Maggie in an episode I usually use an example of how just non-camp Dark Shadows can be, showcasing the evil Barnabas of the early part of the series who thinks nothing of torturing Maggie by locking her in a coffin.  It's fun to watch an episode like this back to back with something from, say, Parallel Time or 1840, where Barnabas is much more successful at suppressing his (un)natural impulses in his quest to save his family, past, present, and sideways.

 #546:  After several slaps on the (skeleton) wrist fail to make an impact, Nicholas smites faux-sister Cassandra by taking away her powers.


Though it occasionally frustrating to watch Angelique get witch-slapped by the (on the surface) more powerful supernatural males of the DS universe -- Nicholas Blair, Count Petofi, and Judah Zachery come to mind -- one must always remind oneself that she's the one who inevitably comes out on top.  No one else makes more returns from the dead than my girl Angie!  However, it's a guilty pleasure to watch Our Favorite Witch hoist on her own petard, and in this instance, H. A. Astredo has a grand time as warlock Nicholas, making much out of his dewitchifying ceremony.  Farewell, Cassandra, and farewell to Cassandra's wig!  (For awhile, anyway.)


#915:  Barnabas ignores the warning from his Leviathan masters that he must discipline nosy Julia, and as a result goes on a mini-rampage, vamping poor Audrey in the process.


A much celebrated episode, mostly due to the appearance of a then-unknown Marsha Mason as the amusingly dubbed "Audrey, the Leviathan Vampire Girl."  As far as doxies go, Audrey is a memorable character right up there with Sophie Baker, paramour of Captain Strathmore and Barnabas' first non-Gypsy victim in 1897.  Audrey also has the good fortune to return in the same episode as a supremely spooky looking vampire, strangely cat-like, re-appearing in the Old House to menace her maker before Leviathan jerk Adlar sends her back to the shadows.  Overall, the Leviathan storyline is definitely divisive amongst DS fans, but I'm firmly in its corner, specifically because of episodes like this one:  it may not make a lot of sense, but it's entertaining and theatrical and weird, which are three of the main reasons I love this show.

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